"Season Ticket" joke

A husband was engrossed in a magazine while his wife was reading the newspaper. Suddenly, she burst out laughing.
"Get this," she said. "Some guy put an ad in here offering to swap his wife for a season ticket to the stadium."
"Hmmmmm," her husband mumbled, still engrossed in his magazine.
Wanting to test him, she asked, "Would you swap me for a season ticket?"
"Absolutely not!" he said.
"That's so sweet," she replied. "Tell me why not."
"Heck, the season's more than half over!" he said.

I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

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WHY DO CAVEMEN DRAG THERE WOMEN BY THE HEAD? IF THEY DRAGGED THEM BY THERE FEET THEY WOULD FILL UP FULL OF ROCKS;

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At 38 years, I finally got me the woman that said those six words I wanted all my life to hear:' My dad owns a liquor store.'

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Farmer and his young bride lived out in the country and the preacher would stop by and of course they would invite him in for chicken dinner.

As this went on and the preacher became so regular he was there practically everyday.

The farmer had to go out in more...

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Paramount won’t go with midnight showings when their movie debuts on May 8th. They've decided to start their midnight showings for Star Trek at 7pm instead. The film company stated that this will allow more Trekkies to attend on the first day without being exposed to direct more...

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