"Realistic Nursery Rhymes" joke

Jack and Jill went up the hill to fetch a pail of water.
Jack fell down and broke his crown and now he's dead.

Hickory Dickory Dock,
The mouse ran up the clock.
The clock struck one,
The mouse fell down,
And he escaped with minor head injuries.

Little Miss Muffet,
Sat on her tuffet,
Eating her curds and waye.
A spider came down and sat on the ground
And Miss Muffet squished him with a big ole' frying pan.