"Quick Husband" joke

Hot 1 year ago

The scene - Husband and wife in bed.
The story - Husband rolls over to wife and taps her in the shoulder.
Wife says "Not tonight sweetheart I have a gynecologist appointment in the morning".
Five minutes elapses - Husband rolls over again and taps wife on the shoulder and says "Do you have a dentist appointment tomorrow too?"

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Grumpy

Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

FIRST TESTIMONY:
I walked into a hair salon with my husband and three kids in tow and
asked loudly, "How much do you charge for a shampoo and a blow job?" I
turned around and walked back out and never went back My husband didn't
say a word...
he more...

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run. She still has the grenade in her mouth.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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