"Punishment In Heaven" joke
One mahatma, a famous saint, died -- must have been someone like Muktananda. One of his supporters died the next day. When the disciple reached heaven, the first thing that he was interested in was, "Where is our guru, our Muktananda? He must be enjoying -- he must have been given all the joys that only heaven can provide."
And then suddenly he saw Muktananda underneath a beautiful tree... with whom, do you know? -- with Sophia Loren! Sophia Loren sitting in his lap, both naked, hugging each other! The disciple fell at the feet of Muktananda.
He said, "Guru Deva, O grand Master, I always knew that you were the greatest master; now I am seeing with my own eyes. God is so happy with you, he has given you Sophia Loren as a reward!"
Muktananda looked very angrily at the gentleman and said, "You fool, stop talking nonsense! You don't understand a thing. She is not my prize I am her punishment!"
an old man went to a beach and say a sexy girl in a bikini. he went up to her and asked her"can i feel your sexy, juicy boobs?"
The girl said, "no way, get away from me old man."
the guy said," twenty more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
One day a cucumber, pickle and a penis were having a conversation.
The Pickle says, "You know, my life really sucks. Whenever I get big fat and juicy they sprinkle seasonings on my and stick me in a jar.
The Cucumber says, "Yeah, you think that's bad? Whenever more...
A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...