"Polish BankRobbers" joke
Stosh and Stan were recently laid off when they decided to rob a bank. They planned for weeks so that everything would go smoothly when the heist took place. Stosh's job was to crack open the safe and detain the manager and Stan's job was to grab the money from the safe and the teller windows.
When the robbery took place, Stan gathered up all the money from the tellers but when he got to the safe, it was all tied up and the manager had a strange look on his face.
"STOSH!" Stan cried out. "I said BLOW THE SAFE and TIE UP THE MANAGER."
(For those of non-Polish descent, Stosh and Stan are well known "old world" Polish names)
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one
Madonna doesn't have one and
Bill Clinton uses his a lot
What is "it"?
A last name!
Now what were you thinking?