"Polak Joins Baseball Team" joke

Hot 5 years ago

A Polak wanted to join an amateur baseball team. The coach looked him over and decided to give him a chance.
"I will give you three questions," said the coach. "If you come back in a week and answer them all correctly, you're on the team."
"Fair enough!" said the Polak eagerly.
The coach proceeded, "Here are your questions. First, how many days are there in a week that start with the letter 'T'? Second, how many seconds are there in a year? And third, how many d's are there in 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"
Next week, the Polak came back, feeling all confident that he knew the right answers. So again the coach said, "So how many days in the week that start with 'T'?"
The Polak said, "Two!"
"Very good!" said the coach. And what are they?"
"Today and Tomorrow!"
"Hmm... OK," said the coach.
"How many seconds are there in a year?"
"Twelve!"
"Twelve? How did you come up with twelve?" The coach was perplexed.
"Well," said the Polak, "there's the second of January, the second of February, the second of..."
"Um.. OK," broke in the coach.
"How many d's in 'Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer?'"
"Oh, that is easy!" laughed the Polak. "Three hundred and sixty-five!"
"WHAT?" cried the coach. "How did you get that figure?"
To which the Polak sang, "dee dee dee-dee-dee dee-dee...."

A 12-year-old boy comes up to the Polak and says, "I was looking in your bedroom window last night and I saw your wife giving you a blow job. Nyah, nyah, nyah."The Polak answers, "The joke's on you, Johnny. Nyah, nyah, nyah-I wasn't even home last night!"

A Polak went to a carpenter and said, "Can you build me a box that
is two inches high, two inches wide, and fifty feet long?"
"Hmm..." mused the carpenter. "It could be done, I suppose, but what
would you want a box like that more...

An Italian, an American, and a Polak were captured by the French for various crimes and are taken to the Guillotine.The executioner places the Italian on the block and asks if he has any last words. The Italian replies, "I pray to the Virgin Mary that I may live." They more...

A priest, a carpenter, and an army man all go up in a plane. The priest says lets all throw something out the window. So the priest starts by throwing a bible out the window. Then the carpenter throws a hammer out the window. Then the army man decides to throw a gernade out the more...

A big-city California lawyer went duck hunting in rural Iowa He shot and dropped a bird, but it fell into a farmer's field on the other side of a fence. As the lawyer climbed over the fence, an elderly farmer drove up on his tractor and asked him what he was doing. The attorney more...

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