"Person and Mistakes" joke
Teacher: Wat do u call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
Boy: An honest man.
Teacher: Good. And what do u call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
Boy: A Boyfriend.
Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a flounder is flat?" Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Little Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Little Johnny. more...
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...