"Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening to..." joke

Padraic Flaherty came home drunk every evening toward ten. Now, the Missus was never too happy about it, either. So one night she hides in the cemetery and figures to scare the beejeezus out of him. As poor Pat wanders by, up from behind a tombstone she jumps in a red devil costume screaming, "Padraic Sean Flaherty, sure and ya` don`t give up you`re drinkin` and it`s to Hell I`ll take ye`". Pat, undaunted, staggered back and demanded, "Who the hell ARE you?". Too that the Missus replied, "I`m the divil ya` damned old fool". To which Flaherty remarked, "Damned glad to meet you sir, I`m married to yer sister."

A passenger in a taxi leaned over to ask the driver a question and tapped him on the shoulder. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window.

For a few moments everything more...

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Couldn't learn to water ski because she couldn't find a lake with a slope.

Got excited because she finished a jigsaw puzzle in 6 months and the box said "2 to 4 years"

Couldn't call 911 because there was no 11 on any phone button.

When more...

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Irish father O`Malley got up one fine spring morning and walked to the window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside and noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly called the local police station. The more...

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A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute.

"Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at more...

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Yo Mama is like a buffet, $3.00 and it's all you can eat!

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