"Ouch!" joke

A doctor is standing in the hall of a hospital talking with a colleague when suddenly one of his patients runs down the hall in his hospital gown screaming at the top of his lungs.
Right behind the patient is a nurse carrying a pan of steaming, boiling-hot water, obviously chasing the patient.
The doctor interrupts his conversation with his colleague and shouts to the chasing nurse, "Miss Jones, I said 'Prick his boil!'"

Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!

25
17

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

174
40

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway.

30
5

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.

55
27

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

466
212
Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 3 vote(s). 100% are positive. 0 comment(s).