"Old Men's Bodily Functions" joke

Hot 5 years ago

Three men were discussing aging on the steps of the nursing home.

"Sixty is the worst age to be," said the 60-year-old. "You always feel like you have to pee. And most of the time, you stand at the toilet and nothing comes out!"

"Ah, that's nothin'," said the 70-year-old. "When you're seventy, you can't take a crap anymore. You take laxatives, eat bran, you sit on the toilet all day and nothin' comes out!"

"Actually," said the 80-year-old, "Eighty is the worst age of all."

"Do you have trouble peeing too?" asked the 60-year-old.

"No...not really. I pee every morning at 6:00 am. I piss like a race horse; no problem at all."

"Do you have trouble taking a crap?" asked the 70-year-old.

"Well, not really. I have a great bowel movement every morning at 6:30 am."

With great exasperation, the 60-year-old said, "Let me get this straight. You pee every morning at 6:00 am and take a crap every morning at 6:30. What's so tough about being 80?"

To which the 80-year-old replied, "I don't wake up until 10:00 am."

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

48
13

Grumpy

Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run. She still has the grenade in her mouth.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Add a comment
remember me
follow replies
0
0
(0)
techotom:I like it
0
0
(0)
Stan:Nyyyyce...
Funny Joke? 20 vote(s). 65% are positive. 2 comment(s).