"OK, Enough Lipstick" joke
The junior high school principal had a problem with some girls who were starting to use lipstick. When applying it in the bathroom they would blot their lips on the mirrors, leaving lip prints. So he spoke to the teachers and asked them for their help. They promised they would speak to the girls, but after two weeks, the sitiation didn't improve at all.
He even called a few of the girls parents who were his friends for their advice, but to no avail. The mirrors were constantly a mess.
Finally he thought of a way to stop it. One day he gathered together all the girls who wore lipstick. He then took them into the bathroom and lectured about how hard it was to clean the lipstick off the mirrors.
You could see the young girls smiling at each other, all nodding publicly but smirking to one another.
The principle then asked the custodian, who was present, to demonstrate how difficult it was to clean the mirrors.
The custodian took a long handled brush, dipped it into the toilet and vigorously rubbed the lipstick off the mirror. From that day forward, the mirrors stayed lipstick free.
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.