"Notes To The Rural Milkman" joke
"Dear Milkman, I've just had a baby, please leave another one.""Please leave an extra pint of paralysed milk.""Please don't leave any more milk. All they do is drink it""Milkman please close the gate behind you because the birds keep pecking the tops off the milk.""Sorry not to have paid your bill before, but my wife had a baby and I've been carrying it around in my pocket for weeks.""Sorry about yesterdays note. I didn't mean one egg and a dozen pints, but the other way round.""When you leave my milk knock on my bedroom window and wake me because I want you' to give me a hand to turn the mattress.""Please knock. My TV's broken down and I missed last nights' Sopranos'. If you saw it, will you tell me what happened."My daughter says she wants a milkshake. Do you do it before you deliver or do I have to shake the bottle.""Please send me a form for cheap milk, for I have a baby two months old and did not know about it until a neighbour told me.""Milk is needed for the baby. Father is unable to supply it.""From now on please leave two pints every other day and one pint on the days in between, except Wednesdays and Saturdays
when I don't want any milk."My back door is open. Please put milk in' fridge, get money out of cup in drawer and leave change on kitchen table, because we want to play bingo tonight.""Please leave no milk today. When I say today, I mean tomorrow, for I wrote this note yesterday...or is it today? ""When you come with the milk please put the coal on the boiler, let dog out and put newspaper inside the screen door. PS. Don't leave any milk.""No milk. Please do not leave milk at No. 14 either as he is dead until further notice."
Your momma reminds me of a bowling ball, she gets picked up, fingered, throwen down a gutter and comes back for more.
Your Moma is so poor when I saw her wobbling down the strret with one shoe, I hollered-"lost a shoe", and she said-"Nope... just found one..."
your mumma is so fat when she stands on the scales the scales say TO BE CONTINUED
your momma is so dumb when she gets locked in the supermarket she dies of starvation
Little Johnny is passing his parents' bedroom in the middle of the night, in search of a glass of water. Hearing a lot of moaning and thumping, he peeks in and catches his folks in The Act. Before dad can even react, Little Johnny exclaims "
Oh, boy! Horsy ride! Daddy, more...
'You're looking miserable.'
'The wife's gone off with the milkman.'
'I'm sorry to hear that.'
'Yes. Now we'll be one batsman short on Sunday.'