"Nose Picking Glossary" joke
THE KIDDIE PICK...When you're by yourself and you uninhibitedly twist your forefinger into your nostril with childlike joy and freedom. And the best part is, there's no time limit!
CAMOUFLAGED KIDDIE PICK...When, in the presence of other people, you wrap your forefinger in a tissue, then thrust it in deep and hold back the smile.
FAKE NOSE SCRATCH...When you make believe you've got an itch but you're really trolling the nostril edge for stray boogers.
MAKING A MEAL OUT OF IT...You do it so furiously, and for so long, you're probably entitled to dessert.
SURPRISE PICKINGS...When a sneeze or laugh causes snot to come hurtling out of your nose, and you have to gracefully clean it off your shirt.
AUTO PICK...The kind you do in a car, when no one's looking.
PICK YOUR BRAINS...Done in private, this is the one where your finger goes in so far, it passes the septum.
PICK AND SAVE...When you have to pick it quickly, just when someone looks away, and then you pocket the snot so they don't catch on to what you did.
PICK AND ROLL...No explanation needed.
PICK AND FLICK...Ditto.
PICK AND STICK...You wanted it to be a "Pick and Flick," but it stubbornly clings to your fingertip.
PAY DIRT...The kind where you remove a piece of snot so big, it improves your breathing by 90%.
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