"Nookie Application" joke

Name of intended recipient..................................................

Name of applicant..........................................

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Applicant's Relationship to Intended Recipient

Husband ( ) Wife ( ) Acquaintance ( )
Fiancee ( ) Boyfriend ( ) Family pet ( )
Friend ( ) Girlfriend ( ) Mother-in-law ( )

(Tick appropriate box)

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My reason/s for this application is/are

Marriage ( ) Practice ( )
Birthday ( ) Health ( )
Pre-marital check ( ) Aids test ( )
Annual target ( ) Anniversary ( )
No cable television ( ) Prevent healing up ( )

Other reason/s.............................................

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Type Required

Fast ( ) Slow ( ) Long ( ) Short ( ) Multiple ( ) Kinky ( )

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Location

Our house ( ) Your house ( ) Neighbour's house ( )
Anywhere ( ) Church vestry ( ) Traffic Island ( )

Other place/s..............................................

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Time

Early ( ) Late ( ) Matinee ( ) All day & all night ( )

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Application Classification

First application ( ) Desperate ( )
Routine circular ( ) Horny ( )

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Intended Recipient's Remarks

Your application has been joyfully, happily, expectedly, irritably, enthusiastically, excitedly, coldly, frigidly, received. (Strike out inapplicable)

Yes ( ) No ( ) Maybe ( ) Ho-hum ( ) Impossible ( ) Not in this lifetime ( )

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My Reason/s for Accepting Your Application is/are

Marriage ( ) Practice ( )
Birthday ( ) Health ( )
Pre-marital check ( ) Aids Test ( )
Annual Target ( ) Anniversary ( )
No Cable television ( ) Prevent healing up ( )

Other reason/s.............................................

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My Reasons for not Accepting Your Application is/are

Involved with neighbours pet ( ) Too often ( ) Too sore ( )
Too tired ( ) Too pregnant ( ) Too late ( )
Too young ( ) Too frigid ( ) Too sober ( )
Too scared ( ) Too drunk ( ) Too sick ( )
Too watched ( ) Too good ( ) Too Bored ( )
Too mean ( ) Too impotent ( ) Too hot ( )

Other Reason/s. ...........................................

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Special Note