"No sword!" joke

Hot 4 years ago

At Cambridge University during an examination one day a bright young student popped up and asked the proctor to bring him Cakes and Ale. The following dialog ensued:
Proctor: I beg your pardon?
Student: Sir, I request that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
Proctor: Sorry, no.
Student: Sir, I really must insist. I request and require that you bring me Cakes and Ale.
At this point, the student produced a copy of the four hundred year old Laws of Cambridge, written in Latin and still nominally in effect, and pointed to the section which read (roughly translated): "Gentlemen sitting examinations may request and require Cakes and Ale." Pepsi and hamburgers were judged the modern equivalent, and the student sat there, writing his examination and happily slurping away.
Three weeks later, the student was fined five pounds for not wearing a sword to the examination.

A man needing a heart transplant is told by his doctor that the only heart available is that of a sheep.
The man finally agrees and the doctor transplants the sheep heart into the man.
A few days after the operation, the man comes in for a checkup.
The doctor asks more...

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Why did the first Koala fall out of the tree? It was dead.
Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree?
It was stapled to the first.
Why did the third Koala fall out of the tree?
It thought suicide was in.
Why did the fourth Koala fall out of the more...

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