"New Bra" joke
A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.
At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took the scientist outside and kicked the crap out of him.
Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!
I had the wife in stitches last night.
That'll teach her to overcook my steak.
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.