"New Bra" joke
A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.
At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took the scientist outside and kicked the crap out of him.
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.
She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."
The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that more...
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!
HOW TO IMPRESS A WOMAN:
spend money on her,
wine & dine her,
buy things for her,