"New Bra" joke

Hot 1 year ago

A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.

At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took the scientist outside and kicked the crap out of him.

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

Whenever my girlfriends take me back to their place, they always slip into something comfortable.
A coma.

I'll never forget my girlfriend's dying words to me:

"For god's sake, put the fucking knife down!"

A
guy is in the market for a used motorcycle. He always
wanted a big Harley. He shops around, answering ads
in the newspaper, and is not having much luck. One day
he comes across a beautiful classic Harley with a for
sale" sign on it. Upon inspection, he more...

Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...

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