"New Bra" joke
A scientist from Texas A&M University has invented a bra that keeps women's breasts from jiggling and prevents the nipples from pushing through the fabric when cold weather sets in.
At a news conference announcing the invention, a large group of men took the scientist outside and kicked the crap out of him.
A middle-aged woman looks in the mirror.
"God, I look old, fat and ugly," she says to her hubby. "Pay me a compliment, dear."
Her hubby says, "Your fucking eyesight's good!"
Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
The three words most hated by men during sex:' 'Are you done?'' The three words women hate to hear when having sex...''Honey, I'm home!''
Q: What's the difference between a girlfriend and a wife?
A: 45 lbs.
Q: What's the difference between a boyfriend more...
Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.