"Mothers with obsessions" joke
A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children.
"You all have obsessions," he observed.
To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating.
You've even named your daughter Candy."
He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is money.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."
He turned to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol.
Again, it manifests itself in your child's name, Brandy."
At this point, the fourth mother got up, took her little boy by the hand and whispered, "Come on, Dick, let's go."
A young man walks up and sits down at the bar.
'What can I get you?' the barman asks.
'I want six shots of whisky,' responds the young man.
'Six shots? Are you celebrating something?'
'Yeah, my first blowjob.'
'Well, in that case, let me give you a seventh on more...
The Ghost Poo: The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo on the toilet paper, but there's no poo in the bowl.
The Clean poo - The kind where you feel poo come out, see poo in the bowl, but theres no poo on the toilet paper.
The Wet Poo- You wipe your butt fifty times more...
your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please.
A cop pulls over a guy.
"Your eyes are awfully red. Have you been drinking?"
"Gee, officer," the man says.
"Your eyes are awfully glazed - have you been eating doughnuts?"