"More About Girls" joke

>>The Lovers of the Heart
>>
>>Article 1: Statement of Love: The Kiss
>>
>>1. Kiss on the hand.... I adore you
>>2. Kiss on the cheek... I just want to be friends
>>3. Kiss on the neck... I want you
>>4. Kiss on the lips... I love you
>>5. Kiss on the ears... I am just playing
>>6. Kiss anywhere else. .. lets not get carried away
>>7. Look in your eyes. .. kiss me
>>8. Playing with your hair... I can't live without you
>>9. Hand on your waist... I love you to much to let you go
>>
>>Article 2: The Three Steps
>>
>>1. Girls: If any guys gets fresh with you, slap him
>>2. Guys: If any girl slaps you, her intentions are still good
>>3. Guys & Girls: Close your eyes when kissing, it is rude to stare
>>
>>Article 3: The Commandments
>>
>>1. Thou shall not squeeze too hard.
>>2. Thou shall not ask for a kiss, but take one.
>>3. Thou shall kiss at every opportunity.
>>
>>**Remember**
>>
>>A peach is a peach
>>A plum is a plum,
>>A kiss isn't a kiss without some tongue, so open up your mouth
>>close your eyes and give your tongue some exercise!!!
>
>>
>>~*~WELL here's a few reasons why guys like girls~*~
>>
>>1. They will always smell good even if its just shampoo
>>2. The way their heads always find the right spot on our shoulder
>>3. How cute they look when they sleep
>>4. The ease in which they fit into our arms
>>5. The way they kiss you and all of a sudden everything is right in
>>the >world
>>6. How cute they are when they eat
>>7. The way they take hours to get dressed but in the end it makes
>>it all worth while
>>8. Because they are always warm even when its minus 30 outside
>>9. The way they look good no matter what they wear
>>10. The way they fish for compliments even though you both know
>>that you think she's the most beautiful thing on this earth
>>11. How cute they are when they argue
>>12. The way her hand always finds yours
>>13. The way they smile
>>14. The way you feel when you see their name on the call ID after
>>you >just had a big fight
>>15. The way she says "lets not fight anymore" even though you know
>>that an hour later....
>>16. The way they kiss when you do something nice for them
>>17. The way they kiss you when you say "I love you"
>>18. Actually. .. just the way they kiss you...
>>19. The way they fall into your arms when they cry
>>20. Then the way they apologize for crying over something that
>>silly
>>21. The way they hit you and expect it to hurt
>>22. Then the way they apologize when it does hurt.
>>(even though we don't admit it)!
>>23. The way they say "I miss you"
>>24. The way you miss them
>>25. The way their tears make you want to change the world so that
>>it
>>doesn't hurt her anymore.....

Why is lemon juice made with artificial flavor, and dishwashing liquid made
with real lemons?

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Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

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You know you're Taliban if...

You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.

You own a 3000 quid machine gun and 5000 quid rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.

You have more wives than teeth.

You think vests more...

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So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many more...

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A farmer goes to the patent office to patent a peach, and the patent officer says- "you can't patent a peach, the peach has already been patented!"And the farmer says, "Oh no. Not THIS kind of peach. Go ahead, try it!" So the patent officer takes a bite, and more...

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