"Money Can't Buy You Everything" joke

Hot 1 year ago

It can buy a bed - but not sleep
It can buy a clock - but not time
It can buy you a book - but not knowledge
It can buy you a position - but not respect
It can buy you medicine - but not health
It can buy you blood - but not life
So you see, money isn't everything, and it often causes pain and suffering. I tell you all this because I am your friend, and as your friend I want to take away your pain and suffering...
So send me all your money and I will suffer for you!!

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

My wife says I never listen... or something like that...

Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 10 vote(s). 100% are positive. 0 comment(s).