"Marriage proposal..." joke
My girlfriend asked, "Do you want to get married?"
I said, "Sure."
She said, "Great, when?"
I said, "Well like every other guy, when I meet the right girl."
A little boy hurts his finger, runs in the house, and calls out to his mother. "Oh," she says, "let me get a band-aid for that."
"No!" cries the boy, "Cider!"
"Cider?" the mother exclaims. "What on earth do you more...
OK, You're a woman, walking home alone. You suddenly notice you are being followed by a black man. What steps would you take?
Fucking long ones!
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.
So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many more...