"Marriage proposal..." joke
My girlfriend asked, "Do you want to get married?"
I said, "Sure."
She said, "Great, when?"
I said, "Well like every other guy, when I meet the right girl."
An entrepreneur attended an auction at which he won the bid on an old safe. With dreams of a large fortune inside, he was told that the business from which the safe originated was so long defunct, that no one had the combination. Undaunted, he called a locksmith to try to get more...
When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.
Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because sheep can hear the zipper.
An extremely wealthy man walks into a fancy restaurant. He notices a beautiful woman sitting all alone at a table in the corner. He decides to send her a bottle of wine to get her attention. He tells the busboy to give her a bottle of their most expensive wine and tell her its more...