"Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ri..." joke
Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering
(To be left on an answering machine, or as a general prank call)
"You know, the strangest thing happened to me today... I asked the devil for a condom, and he gave me three. I asked the devil for a dollar, and he gave me ten. Then I asked the devil for a ho and he gave more...
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet
Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
Q:What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!