"Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ri..." joke

Marriage is a three ring circus: an engagement ring, a wedding ring, and suffering

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
Their were no survivors

(To be left on an answering machine, or as a general prank call)
"You know, the strangest thing happened to me today... I asked the devil for a condom, and he gave me three. I asked the devil for a dollar, and he gave me ten. Then I asked the devil for a ho and he gave more...

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

"How I Met Your Mother", is the story Chuck Norris tells to everybody.

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