"Marines and the police" joke
The following is supposedly a true story relating a situation that actually occurred in Los Angeles.The Marines were backing-up LAPD on a call that someone had broken into a store.At the scene, the cop told the Marines to "cover" him as he approched the store (to police, "cover" means to point your weapons in the direction of the threat, to Marines it means lay down a base of fire!).The Marines promptly laid down a base of fire. The Marines fired 178 rounds before they stopped shooting.The thief, probably a little scared at this point, called 911 and reported, "They're shooting at me!".
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.
Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!
An elderly woman went to the doctor's office for a check up.
The doctor asked if she had any problems. The woman said that she had a terrible farting problem, but they were silent & didn't smell. In fact she had farted at least 10 times since she had been in the office, but more...
your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please.