"Man Vs. melon" joke
Recently, in Hungary a man went to the bank to ask for a loan. The
bank manager said "No way" and sent him on his way.
Irate, the customer returned an hour later with a pistol and a
watermelon, and dragged the bank manager out at gunpoint into the
foyer.
The manager later explained "I asked him,'Are you going to shoot me??'
and he said' Not if you fuck this melon!!'"
The gunman then shot a hole in the melon, then with his trousers
around his knees and a pistol at his head, the manager got to work on
the fruit in front of his staff and a crowd of customers.
Ten minutes of managerial grunting later, daring clerks succeeded in
overpowering and disarming the gunman.
"Actually," one of the clerks admitted, "we could have stopped him much
earlier, but we'd never seen our manager enjoy himself so much!"
A married man was spending the afternoon with his girlfriend when she asked that he shave his beard.
"I do like your beard, John, but I would really love to see your handsome face," she said.
"My wife loves this beard, honey," he replied. "I more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!