"Making a horse laugh and cry" joke

Hot 5 years ago

A guy walks into a tavern. There's a horse tending the bar, and on the counter behind the horse is a goldfish bowl full of 5 dollar bills.
The guy asks the man next to him, "What the hell is going on?"
The man says, "We have a contest going. You put a 5 dollar bill in the goldfish bowl, and if you make the horse laugh, you win all the money!"
The guy goes behind the bar, puts a 5 dollar bill in the goldfish bowl, whispers something to the horse, and the horse cracks up. The guy takes all the money out of the bowl and leaves the bar.
A few months later, he walks into the tavern again. The horse is still tending bar, but now the goldfish bowl is filled with 10 dolalr bills.
The guy asks, "Well, what's the contest now?"
The same man answers, "You have to make the horse cry!"
The guy goes behind the bar, puts a 10 dollar bill in the goldfish bowl, and leads the horse out the back door.
A few minutes later, they walk back in and the horse is in tears. The guy takes all the money out of the goldfish bowl, and just as he's walking out, everyone demands that he explain how he did it!
"The 1st time" he explains, "I told the horse I was hung better than he was. This time I showed it to him!"

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Two builders (Dave and Stuart) are seated either side of a table in a rough pub when a well-dressed man enters, orders a beer and sits on a stool at the bar The two builders start to speculate about the occupation of the suit
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