"Magical Mirror" joke
There was a magical mirror tht showed the prettiest and ugliest people in the world. The mirror said that, May Honzirop was the prettiest and the ugliest was Shakira Hobo. May was going to go in front of millions of people to get a Guinness world record.
The mirror said, the day before May went on stage, "I think you'll brag about all your "success" and just become unpopular again.
May replied, "SHUT UP YOU STUPID MIRROR! I WILL THROW YOU AWAY AFTER I'M DONE!"
It was the next day. She was on stage with Shakira Hobo. She announced, now the mirror will choose the prettiest and the ugliest people."
The mirror was still upset, but still decided to answer anyway.
The mirror announced to about 25 million people, "The prettiest perso is Shakira Hobo, and the ugliest is May Honzirop, and that the truth!"
Everyone laughed at May. The mirror said, Payback!"
A minute later, May was piled in tomatoes.
There was a little boy who had just learned to count on his fingers.
One day his uncle came to visit and the boy was anxious to show off his newly acquired skill.
He told the uncle to ask him an addition question.
So the uncle asked, "What is three plus more...
A couple, age 67, went to the doctor's office.
The doctor asked, "What can I do for you?"
The man said, "Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?"
The doctor looked puzzled but agreed. When the couple had finished, the doctor said, "There more...
A company was doing an English-language movie where, at one point, an exhausted messenger was supposed to dash in, collapse, and gasp out a vital message in Swahili. They even found someone who knew the language, and the scene worked beautifully in the movie -- until it played more...
There once were two evil brothers. They were rich and used their money to keep their evil ways from the public eye. They attended the same temple, and to everyone else, they appeared to be perfect Jews.
One day, their rabbi retired and a new one was hired. Not only could the more...