"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
A Jamaican tourist was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a cafe when an Australian, chewing gum, sat next to him.
The Jamaican politely ignored the Australian, who, never the less started up a conversation. The Australian snapped his gum and said, "You more...
First guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
What do you get when you cross a rooster with an owl?
A cock that stays up all night.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
Teamwork is essential - it allows you to blame someone else.