"Karate is a form of martial arts in which people who have had years and years of training can, using only their hands and feet, make some of the worst movies in the history of the world."
Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!
I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.
One day, little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him "coats and jackets".
Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word "fucking", and for a second time, more...
No matter how good she looks,
some other guy is sick and tired
of putting up with her shit.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because sheep can hear the zipper.