"Jokes for the Ladies!" joke

Q: Why are married women heavier than single women? A: Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge. Q: How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes? A: Both of them. Q: Why did the man cross the road? A: He heard the chicken was a slut. Q: Why don't women blink during foreplay? A: They don't have time. Q: Why does it take 1 million sperm cells to fertilize one egg? A: They won't stop to ask directions. Q: What do men and sperm have in common? A: They both have a one-in-a-million chance of becoming a human being. Q: How does a man show that he is planning for the future? A: He buys two cases of beer. Q: What is the difference between men and government bonds? A: The bonds mature. Q: Why are blonde jokes so short? A: So men can remember them. Q: How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper? A: We don't know; it has never happened. Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good looking? A: They all already have boyfriends. Q: What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night? A: A Widow. Q: How did Pinocchio find out he was made of wood? A: His hand caught fire. Q: How do you get a man to do sit-ups? A: Put the remote control between his toes. Q: What did God say after creating Adam? A: I must be able to do better than that. Q: What did God say after creating Eve? A: "Practice makes perfect." Q: How are men and parking spots alike? A: Good ones are always taken. Free ones are mostly handicapped or extremely small. Q: What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common? A: They are married. Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?" God says: "So you would love her." "But God," the man says, "why did you make her so dumb?" God says: "So she would love you."

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