"Jet setting drunks" joke
A couple of drinking buddies, who were airplane mechanics, were in the hanger at Mascot in Sydney. It was fogged in and they had nothing to do. One said to the other,' Man, have you got anything to drink?'
'Nah, but I hear you can drink jet fuel and that'll kinda give you a buzz.' So, Bill and Bob drank jet fuel, get smashed and had a great time. The following morning, Bill woke up and figured his head would probably start pounding as soon as he stood up. But it didn't. He felt good. In fact, he felt great - no hangover! Bill's phone rang, it was Bob. Bob asked,' Hey, how do you feel?'
'I feel great!' replied Bill.' I feel great too! You don't have a hangover?'
'No. That jet fuel is great stuff - no hangover. We ought to do this more often!'
'Yeah, we could, but there's just one thing...'
'What's that?'' Did you fart yet?'
'Did you fart yet?'
'Well, don't, because I'm in Melbourne!'
Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. They loaded up Jack's station-wagon and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. They pulled into a nearby farmhouse and asked the attractive lady of the house if they could spend the more...
Bob and Martha have been married for 15 years. Every morning for 15 years, Bob wakes up, farts loudly, rolls over onto his back and gets up for work.
Every morning for 15 years, Martha says, "One of these days, you're gonna fart your guts more...