"Jesus is watching you" joke

Hot 1 year ago

A robber breaks into a home and procedes to loot the kitchen of the fine china and such when he hears a voice that says "Jesus is watching you" the robber looks around and doesnt see anybody Next he goes to the bedrooms and continues stealing then he hears the voice again "Jesus is whatching you " now he is starting to get paranoid so he turns on the lights and looks around, he sees a bird in the corner so he goes up to the bird and asks "are you the one saying Jesus is watching you" the bird says yes then asks whats your name the robber says todd the robber says whats your name the bird says milfred . The robber mumbles to himself what kind of person names their bird Milfred? The bird replies the same kind of person theat name their doberman Jesus.

A lady says to her doctor, "My husband has been complaining that my vagina has an odor, but I bent over and took a whiff, and I don't smell anything."
The doctor examines her vagina, and then says, "There's something terribly wrong. You need an more...

A man, shocked by how his buddy is dressed, asks him, "How long have you been wearing that bra?" The friend replies, "Ever since my wife found it in the glove compartment."

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

I don't have a girlfriend, I just know a girl who would get really mad if she heard me say that.

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

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