"Jesus is watching you" joke

Hot 1 year ago

A robber breaks into a home and procedes to loot the kitchen of the fine china and such when he hears a voice that says "Jesus is watching you" the robber looks around and doesnt see anybody Next he goes to the bedrooms and continues stealing then he hears the voice again "Jesus is whatching you " now he is starting to get paranoid so he turns on the lights and looks around, he sees a bird in the corner so he goes up to the bird and asks "are you the one saying Jesus is watching you" the bird says yes then asks whats your name the robber says todd the robber says whats your name the bird says milfred . The robber mumbles to himself what kind of person names their bird Milfred? The bird replies the same kind of person theat name their doberman Jesus.

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet

I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

Superman was feeling bored after a long break of crime fighting & wanted to go out & party so he called Batman to ask if he wanted to go to a club & pick up some girls. Batman said Robin was ill & he had to look after him.
A little disappointed, Superman called Spiderman to more...

Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!

A bear, a lion and a chicken sitting talking about who is the hardest. The bear says when I roar - the whole forest trembles, the lion says when I roar - the whole jungle shakes with fear, the chicken says all I have to do is cough and the whole fuckin world shits itself!!

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