"JEWISH SAMURAI" joke
Back in the time when the Samurai were important, there was a
powerful emperor who needed a new chief Samurai, so he sent out a declaration
throughout the land that he was searching for the best one. A year
passed, and only 3 people showed up for the trials:
....a Japanese Samurai
....a Chinese Samurai
....and a Jewish Samurai.
The emperor asked the Japanese Samurai to come in and demonstrate why
he should be the chief Samurai.
The Japanese Samurai opened a match box, and out flew a bumblebee.
Whoosh! went his razor sharp sword, and the bumblebee dropped dead on
the ground in 2 pieces.
The emperor exclaimed: "This is impressive!"
The emperor then issued the same challenge to the Chinese Samurai;
for him to come in and demonstrate why he should be chosen.
The Chinese Samurai also opened a match box, and out buzzed a fly.
Whoosh, Whoosh! Went his great flashing sword, and the fly dropped
dead on the ground... in four small pieces.
The emperor exclaimed in awe: "That is really VERY impressive!"
Now the emperor turned to the Jewish Samurai, and asked him also to
step forward and demonstrate why he should be the head Samurai.
The Jewish Samurai also opened a match box, and out flew a small
gnat. His lightning quick sword went Whooooosh! Whooooosh! Whoooosh!....But
the tiny gnat was still alive and flying around.
The emperor, obviously very disappointed in this display, said: "I
see you are not up to the task. The gnat is not dead?"
The Jewish Samurai just smiled and said: "Circumcision is not meant
to kill."
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!
Arnold Schwartzinagor has a long one
Michael J. Fox has a short one
Madonna doesn't have one and
Bill Clinton uses his a lot
What is "it"?
A last name!
Now what were you thinking?