"In the red" joke

Spent my last £50 on a prostitute last night and she was menstruating.
That's me in the red again.

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

I'll never forget my girlfriend's dying words to me:

"For god's sake, put the fucking knife down!"

A dumb blonde was really tired of being made fun of, so she decided to have her hair she would look like a brunette. When she had brown hair, she decided to take a drive in the country.
After she had been driving for a while, she saw a farmer and a flock of sheep and more...

OK, You're a woman, walking home alone. You suddenly notice you are being followed by a black man. What steps would you take?

Fucking long ones!

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