"In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records ..." joke
In the back of the Guinness Book of World Records it states “All records are currently held by Chuck Norris, and the records listed in this book are only the records of those people who have come closest to Chuck Norris’s records.”
There is no such thing as tornados. Chuck Norris just hates trailer parks.
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
A good friend will bail you out of jail. A best friend will be sitting next to you saying: "Damn that was fun!"
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
Their were no survivors