"I want to die peacefully in my sleep" joke
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather... Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Teacher: Wat do u call a person who apologizes if he has committed a mistake ?
Boy: An honest man.
Teacher: Good. And what do u call a person who apologizes even if he has committed no mistake ?
Boy: A Boyfriend.
One day a man came home from work to find his wife crying hysterically in the kitchen.
"What's wrong dearest??" asked the confused husband.
"Oh darling," sobbed the wife, "I was cleaning little Suzie's room when I found whips, handcuffs and more...