"Hubble telescope finds collision of two asteroids" joke

A mysterious X-shaped pattern of space debris seen by NASA's Hubble Space Telescope was probably two asteroids that collided, scientists said Tuesday. Scientists believe the collision happened when one of the asteroids suddenly accelerated. Scientists are calling the pattern of debris the Toyota Camry.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

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A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

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A cop pulled a guy over for speeding at which time the following conversation was exchanged:
Cop: May I see your driver's license?

Driver: Sorry, I don't have one. It was suspended when I got my 5th DUI.

Cop: May I see the owner's card for the more...

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Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
Their were no survivors

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Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.

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