"How to tell if your Viagra is working" joke

Hot 4 years ago

How to Tell if Your Viagra is Working
At work, they call you a spiritualist because when you sit down at a meeting, the table floats.
The paleness of your face (because of the lack of blood) - It's all you-know-where.
You begin to look at the dog with interest.
You fall naked and face down on the beach and the point comes out in New Zealand.
They confuse you with the duracell bunny.
When you come into a sauna, everyone stands up and applauds.
You begin to think that your mother-in-law is pretty.
You no longer need the TV remote control.
You killed a passer-by with a button that flew off your new Levis.
If you die, they won't be able to close your coffin for three days.
They begin to call you "the tripod."
The butchers look for you because they ran out of peperoni.
You go out to sunbathe nude and (if you're standing) the birds perch on it to rest, or (if you're lying down) you look like a sundial.
When you go camping all you bring is the canvas, but you leave the tent poles behind.
Everyone lets you get in line in front of him or her in the bank, the supermarket, etc.
Pinocchio doesn't look like such a liar, compared with you.
When you go to the kitchen in the middle of the night, you can carry the glass of milk, the cookies, the napkins, the plate, and other things that you couldn't before using just 2 hands.
You always lose limbo contests.
Lewinsky wants you to be president someday.
You can make drawings in the sand at the beach without having to look for a stick.
You had them take down the ceiling fan in the bedroom because you like to sleep on your back.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.



Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

My wife says I never listen... or something like that...

A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...

A blind man was describing his favorite sport, parachuting. When asked how this was accomplished, he said that things were all done for him: "I am placed in the door with my seeing eye dog and told when to jump. My hand is placed on my release ring for me and out I go with more...

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