"Happy retirement" joke

The Pentagon recently discovered it had too many generals and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired straight away his full annual benefits plus $10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line between any two points on the general's body, with the general getting to select any pair of points he wished.
The first man, an Air Force general, accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes. Six feet. He walked out with a check of $720,000.
The second man, an Army general, asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes. Eight feet. He walked out with a cheque for $960,000.
When the third general, a grizzled old Marine, was asked where to measure, he told the pension man: "From the tip of my penis to the bottom of my testicles."
The pension man suggested that perhaps the Marine general might like to reconsider, pointing out the nice cheques the previous two generals had received.
The Marine insisted and the pension expert said that would be fine but that he'd better get the medical officer to do the measuring. The medical officer attended and asked the general to drop em. He did. The medical officer placed the tape on the tip of the general's penis and began to work back.
"My God!" he said. "Where are your testicles?"
The general smiled and replied, "In Vietnam."

A trucker driving along on the freeway notices a road sign in the distance that reads' Low Bridge Ahead.'Sure enough, the trucker gets stuck under the bridge. Cars are backed up for miles.Finally, a police officer arrives at the scene. The cop gets out of his cruiser and walks more...

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whats better than spinning a muslim round at 100mph? stopping him with a spade!

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Do you know what happens if you don't pay your exorcist? You get repossessed!

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Funny Joke? 4 vote(s). 75% are positive. 0 comment(s).