"Handbags" joke

Hot 4 years ago

The Englishman's, Irishman's and Scotsman's wives go shopping one day to a big department store. While they are there a fire breaks out. Everyone in the store is killed, including the three women.
Their husbands are summoned to the local police station where a policewoman breaks the news to them: "I'm afraid sirs that we believe your wives were killed in the fire at the department store. However the fire was so intense we cannot identify the bodies. Only their handbags survived the blaze. Can you identify your wives' handbags from these three found in the store?"
The three men all look at the handbags and each one is able to identify one of the handbags as belonging to his wife. With all handbags accounted for the policewoman leaves the men to deal with their grief in peace.
The three men sit in silence for a while, then the Englishman opens his wife's handbag and rummages through the contents, finally pulling out a half-empty packet of cigarettes and says "All these years married and I never knew the old girl smoked."
The Scotsman looks into his wife's handbag and pulls out a half-empty bottle of scotch. "Jings, I knew her all that time an ah didnae ken ma missus drank."
The Irishman empties his wife's handbag onto the floor, looks through the contents and picks up a half empty packet of condoms. "'Saints preserve us! All dese years an oi never knew me wife was a man."

The following are actual church bulletin board bloopers found in churches across the United States.

11. "Next Sunday Mrs. Vinson will be soloist for the morning service. The pastor will then speak on' It's a Terrible Experience'."

12. "Due to more...

DEAR WIFE

I'm writing this letter to you to tell you that I'm leaving you.

I've been a good man to you for seven years, yet I have nothing to show for it.

Life with you is unbearable. I called you at work just to see if you wanted to have lunch ( more...

Tired of constantly being broke & stuck in an unhappy marriage, a young husband decided to solve both problems by taking out a large insurance policy on his wife with himself as the beneficiary, and then arranging to have her killed.
A' friend of a friend' put him in touch more...

This is a compilation of actual student GCSE answers.
1. Ancient Egypt was inhabited by mummies and they all wrote in
hydraulics. They lived in the Sarah Dessert and traveled by
Camelot. The climate of the Sarah is such that the inhabitants
have to live more...

A Patel family in Gujarat was puzzled when the coffin of their dead mother arrived from the US. It was sent by one of their daughters. The dead body was very tightly squeezed inside the coffin, with no space left in it.
When they opened the lid, they found a letter on top more...

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