"Good, Bad and Worse" joke

Hot 2 years ago

Bad: You can't find your vibrator. Worse: Your daughter "borrowed" it. Bad: You find a porn movie in your son's room. Worse: You're in it. Bad: Your children are sexually active. Worse: With each other. Bad: Your husband's a cross dresser. Worse: He looks better than you. Bad: Your son's involved in Satanism. Worse: As a sacrifice. Bad: Your wife wants a divorce. Worse: She's a lawyer. Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: For another woman. Bad: Your wife's leaving you. Worse: To enter a convent. Bad: Your wife's arrested for soliciting. Worse: She implicates you. Good: Hot outdoor sex. Bad: You're arrested. Worse: By your husband. Good: The postman's early. Bad: He's wearing camos and has an AK-47. Good: The secretary said "yes." Bad: Your wife says "no." Good: The teacher likes your son. Bad: Sexually. Worse: He's gay. Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: So did the postman. Good: You came home for a quickie. Bad: Your wife walks in. Good: You get a three-day weekend. Bad: You get the flu on Friday. Good: You get tickets to the theatre. Bad: It's performance art. Good: You go to see a strip show. Bad: Your daughter's the headliner. Good: Your boyfriend's exercising. Bad: So he'll fit in your clothes. Good: Your car conveniently "runs out of gas." Bad: For real. Good: Your child's "waiting for Mr. Right". Bad: Your son, that is. Good: Your daughter's on the Pill. Bad: She's eleven. Good: Your neighbor exercises in the nude. Bad: She weighs 350 pounds. Good: Your son's doing extra credit work. Bad: Making a sex ed video. Good: Your uncle leaves you a fortune. Bad: It's counterfeit. Good: Your wife bought a porn video. Bad: Your daughter's the star. Good: Your wife likes outdoor sex. Bad: You live downtown. Good: Your wife meets you at the door nude. Bad: She's coming home. Good: Your wife's kinky. Bad: With the neighbors. Worse: All of them.

A mother had 3 virgin daughters. They were all getting married within a short time period. Because Mom was a bit worried about how their sex life would get started, she made them all promise to send a postcard from the honeymoon with a few words on how marital sex felt.
The more...

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

So there were two guys on a roof, pounding nails. One guy pounded a nail in, then picked up another. He was holding the nail upside down. He unexpectedly threw the nail away. He picked up another nail, right side up this time, and pounded this in. He eventually threw so many more...

A man was having problems with premature ejaculation so he decided to go to the doctor. He asked the doctor what could he do to cure his problem.
In response, the doctor said, "When you feel like you are getting ready to ejaculate, try startling yourself." That more...

A couple of women were playing golf one sunny Saturday morning. The first of the twosome teed off and watched in horror as her ball headed directly toward a foursome of men playing the next hole.
Indeed, the ball hit one of the men, and he immediately clasped his hands more...

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