"Glass half full and empty of perspectives" joke
So you want to divide the world in to optimists and pessimists, huh? Check this out:
"The glass is half full."
"The glass is half empty."
"The glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
"The glass is full; half with water, half with air."
"The glass contains some water; I want a Coke!"
"The water is surrounded by a glass."
"The glass was half...something a minute ago. Now it's empty. [burp]"
My wife says I never listen... or something like that...
A kid said to his Dad, "In school I learned Pluto is in outerspace. But they didn't say where Mickey is."
Here I am at Camp Grenada. Camp is very entertaining, and they say we'll have some fun if it stops raining. I went hiking with Joe Spivy. He developed poison ivy. You remember Leonard Skinner; he got ptomaine poisoning last night after dinner.All the counselors, hate the more...
I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.