"Glass half full and empty of perspectives" joke

Hot 1 year ago

So you want to divide the world in to optimists and pessimists, huh? Check this out:

"The glass is half full."
"The glass is half empty."
"The glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
"The glass is full; half with water, half with air."
"The glass contains some water; I want a Coke!"
"The water is surrounded by a glass."
"The glass was half...something a minute ago. Now it's empty. [burp]"

A man leaned toward an attractive woman at a bar and told her, "Haven't I seen you somewhere before?"
"Yes," she replied in a loud voice, "I'm the receptionist at the V.D. clinic

Don't worry about the world ending today... It's already tomorrow in Australia.

Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.

My wife says I never listen... or something like that...

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

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