"Glass half full and empty of perspectives" joke

Hot 1 year ago

So you want to divide the world in to optimists and pessimists, huh? Check this out:

"The glass is half full."
"The glass is half empty."
"The glass is twice as big as it needs to be."
"The glass is full; half with water, half with air."
"The glass contains some water; I want a Coke!"
"The water is surrounded by a glass."
"The glass was half...something a minute ago. Now it's empty. [burp]"

A woman went to her doctor for a follow-up visit after the doctor had prescribed testosterone (a male hormone) for her. She was a little worried about some of the side effects she was experiencing."Doctor, the hormones you've been giving me have really helped, but I'm more...

One bright, beautiful Sunday morning, everyone in tiny Smithville wakes up early and goes to their local church.
Before the service starts, the townspeople sit in their pews and talk about their lives, their families, etc.
Suddenly, at the altar, Satan more...

What starts with the letter F and ends in UCK?
FiretrUCK

What is the definition of eternity?
Four blondes in four cars at a four way intersection.

A couple of hunters are out in the woods when one of them falls to the ground. He doesn't seem to be breathing, his eyes are rolled back in his head. The other guy whips out his cell phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps to the operator: “My friend is dead! What can more...

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