"Give up sex" joke
My mate told me yesterday that he had seen his doctor and been told he had to give up sex or he will die.
I said, "Why, mate?"
He said, "I've been fucking his wife."
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
You know you're Taliban if...
You refine heroin for a living, but you have a moral objection to beer.
You own a 3000 quid machine gun and 5000 quid rocket launcher, but you can't afford shoes.
You have more wives than teeth.
You think vests more...
One day a man from Alabama comes to Georgia to get an education. He goes to the first professor he sees and says, “What can you teach me?”
Shocked, the professor answers, “Well, I can teach you about the power of reasoning.”
With a questioned look on more...
I once fingered my daughter to the police.
I think it was every breath you take.
My girlfriend had an abortion yesterday.
It went ok but it took a lot out of her.