"Flying Blind" joke
There was this blind man on an airplane and while he was up in the air, the two pilots that were flying died. This man felt the plane rocking more than normal so he went up to the cock-pit and asked what was wrong and got no answer. He reached down and felt one of the pilots pulse, and then moved him to the floor and got on the radio and yelled, "Mayday, mayday, I'm a blind man, my pilots are dead, I can't fly and the plane is upside down."
Someone answers and says, "Okay sir, now you said you were blind. How can you tell that the pilots are dead and that you're flying upside down?"
The blind man said, "Well I felt for their pulse and they had none. And the way I can tell that the plane is flying upside down is I can feel the crap running down my neck!"
A blonde was onboard a small two seater plane when the pilot suddenly died. Not knowing how to fly a plane, she grabbed the radio and yelled, "Mayday, mayday! The pilot just died."
Receiving her call for help, air traffic control answered back, "Don't worry more...
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...
so I said "Implants?"
A couple was invited to a swanky masked Halloween Party. She got a terrible headache and told her husband to go to the party alone. He, being a devoted husband, protested, but she argued and said she was going to take some aspirin and go to bed, and there was no need of his good more...