"Fishing with grampa" joke
a kid and his grampa were fishing and the grampa lit up a cigarette and the boy said can i have one the grampa said can u touch ur dick to your assholle and the boy said no
well an hour goes bye and the grampa grabs a beer and the boy says can i have one and the grampa says can you touch your dick to your asshole and the boy says no
another hour goes by and the boy has some cookies and the grampa says can i have one and the boy says can u touch your dick to your asshole and the grampa says proudly yes i can and and the boy says go fuck yourself these are my cookies
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
Scientists have invented, at the cost of $75 million in research, a robot that repels eyeliner, lipstick & mascara.
You couldn't make it up!
A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.