"Final exam!!!" joke
At Aberdeen Uni, 4 sophomores were taking Biology. They had done brilliantly in labs, on practicals and tests etc. Each had an 'A' so far for the semester. So confident were they before finals that they decided to head down to Edinburgh College for a big party with some mates.
After a great deal of partying they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Aberdeen till early Monday morning. Rather than take the final then, they decided to find the Professor after the exam and explain their trip, how they had planned to be back in time to study, but unfortunately had a flat tire on the way home, didn't have a spare, couldn't get help and thus missed the final.
The Professor thought it over, agreed they could take the exam the next day, and naturally the guys were relieved. That night they studied hard, arrived the next day, where upon the professor placed them each in separate rooms. Handing them a test booklet he told them to begin.
Looking at problem 1, worth five points, "Cool", they thought at the same time, each in his separate room, "This will be a cinch."
Each finished the problem 1, turned the page and found written:[For 95 points]: Which tire?
Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
In biology class the teacher asks, "Can anyone tell me why a flounder is flat?" Little Johnny raises his hand.
"Go ahead, Little Johnny."
"My uncle told me it's because a whale raped the flounder."
"That's terrible, Little Johnny. more...
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!