"Final exam!!!" joke
At Aberdeen Uni, 4 sophomores were taking Biology. They had done brilliantly in labs, on practicals and tests etc. Each had an 'A' so far for the semester. So confident were they before finals that they decided to head down to Edinburgh College for a big party with some mates.
After a great deal of partying they slept all day Sunday and didn't make it back to Aberdeen till early Monday morning. Rather than take the final then, they decided to find the Professor after the exam and explain their trip, how they had planned to be back in time to study, but unfortunately had a flat tire on the way home, didn't have a spare, couldn't get help and thus missed the final.
The Professor thought it over, agreed they could take the exam the next day, and naturally the guys were relieved. That night they studied hard, arrived the next day, where upon the professor placed them each in separate rooms. Handing them a test booklet he told them to begin.
Looking at problem 1, worth five points, "Cool", they thought at the same time, each in his separate room, "This will be a cinch."
Each finished the problem 1, turned the page and found written:[For 95 points]: Which tire?
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
A American guy named Paul challenged a Filipino
American: use my name four times in a sentence
Filipino: Paul be carePaul you mightPaul in the swimmingPaul
What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run. She still has the grenade in her mouth.
One day a little girl came up to Santa Clause and sat on his lap. He said what do you want for Christmas. She said I want a Barbie and G.I. Joe. He said, I thought Barbie is suppose to come with Ken. She said, Barbie comes with G.I. Joe, she fakes it with Ken.
Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet