"FBI Want-Ads" joke
The FBI puts an Ad in the newspaper, "Wanted FBI agents." After sorting through all the applicants they narrow it down to three. They bring the first in for an interview and the interviewing agent says to the gentleman, "We are the FBI, we solemnly do the duty of the country and always put the country before ourselves. Anything asked of us, we must do. Whether we like it or not. All our agents must be totally loyal." The guy responds that he always wanted to be an FBI agent and it has been his dream.
The agent then pulls out a gun and puts it on the table. "Please, go into the next room where your wife is and shoot her."
The gentleman gets a repulsed look upon his face. "I can't do that. She is my wife and I love her with all my heart!"
The agent than says that he just isn't FBI material, but thanks him for coming down.
They then bring in the second man. The agent goes over the speel of loyalty for the country above all else. "I always wanted to be an agent, my lifelong goal it was ever since I was a school boy," he replies.
The agent than proceeds to pull out the gun and place it on the table. "Please, go into the next room and shoot your wife," FBI agent says, calmly.
The man than replies, "I can't do that, although we have our problems, I can't kill her. She is the mother of my three kids...she's just too important."
The agent offers his respect, but with regret tells him that he just isn't FBI material.
Finally, the third gentleman is brought in. They go over the speel and the agent puts the gun on the table and asks him to go shoot his wife. The man nods, takes the gun and enters the next room.
Five or six shots are heard and then are proceeded by sounds of things slamming into the wall, tables splintering and shattering, muffled screams and metal bending. The FBI agent runs to the room with astonishment and confusion on his face.
"What did you do?"
The man calmly replies, "The gun was full of blanks, so I had to beat her to death with a chair!"
A girl with a red wig on goes to the doctor and the doctor asks "What seems to be the problem?" The girl says: "My body is on fire." She touched her arm and screamed. She touched her cheek and screamed even louder. The doctor says: "You are a blonde more...
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
Q: How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb.
A: None. They are not interested in that short wave stuff.
There was a Latino man looking for job.
The boss asked, "Do you speak English?"
"Yes, Senor," he replied.
The boss continued, "I will test your comprehension, make a sentence with these three words: Green, pink and yellow."