"Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman about Christmas presents" joke

An Englishman, an Irish man and a Scotsman were in the pub deciding what they were going to buy for their wives for Christmas.
The Englishman said, "I'm going to buy my wife a necklace and a scarf.
That way, if she doesn't like the necklace, she can wear the scarf on top and she won't be embarrassed, I won't be embarrassed, and we'll have a happy Christmas"
Next is was the Scotsman's turn. "I'm going to buy my wife a bracelet and some long gloves. That way, if she doesn't like the bracelet, she can wear the gloves on top and she won't be embarrassed, I won't be embarrassed, and we'll have a happy Christmas."
Finally they asked the Irishman what he was going to buy. "Well I'm going to buy my wife a bright red hat and a vibrator," said the Irishman.
"If she doesn't like the hat, she can go fuck herself."

An Englishman, Frenchman, Mexican, and Texan were flying across country on a small plane when the pilot comes on the loud speaker and says " We're having mechanical problems and the only way we can make it to the next airport is for 3 of you to open the door and jump, at more...

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An engineering student is walking on campus one day, when another engineer student rides up on a shiny new motorcycle.
"Where did you get such a functional bike?" asked the first.
The second engineer replied: "Well, I was walking along yesterday minding my more...

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An elderly spinster called the lawyer's office and told the receptionist she wanted to see the lawyer about having a will prepared.
The receptionist suggested they set up an appointment for a convenient time for the spinster to come into the office.
The woman replied, more...

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An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are all boasting to each other about
presents they have bought their wives for their birthdays.
The Englishman says "I've bought my wife a 24-carot gold ring and a
glove".
"Why have you got her a glove?" more...

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