"Emperor Constantine's head" joke

Hot 4 years ago

I have this posted over my desk. I don’t know who the original author is, but I always found this quote remarkable for coming to grips with unjust and nasty criticism:

A courtier told the Emperor Constantine that a mob had broken the head of his statues with stones. The emperor lifted his hands to his head, saying: “It is very surprising, but I don’t feel hurt in the least.”

Opportunity may knock once, but temptation bangs on your front door forever.

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Ya Mama

Ya mama so fat the only thing stopping her from going to Jenny Craig is the door.

A duck walks into a general store and asks the manager:
- "Got any fresh fruit?"
- "No."
- "Got any fresh vegetables?"
- "No. We have only canned and dry goods."
The next day, the duck returns:
- "Got any fresh more...

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

Your Mamma's so fat, when she went bungee jumping, she broke the bridge!

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