"Emotional needs !" joke

Hot 2 weeks ago

A husband and wife are getting all snugly in bed. The passion is heating up as it sometimes does.
But then the wife suddenly stops and says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."
"WHAT!?" says her husband.
The wife explains that he must be in tune with her emotional needs as a Woman. He realizes that nothing is going to happen tonight and he might as well deal with it.
The next day the husband takes her shopping at a big department store. He walks around and has her try on three very expensive outfits. She can't decide. He tells his wife to take all three of them. They head to the shoe department and pick up matching shoes worth $200 each.
The pair go to the jewelry department where she finds a set of diamond earrings that her husband agrees to buy for her. The wife is so excited. She thinks her husband has flipped out - but she doesn't care. She goes for the matching tennis bracelet. The husband says "You don't even play tennis, but if you like it then let's get it."
The wife is jumping up and down so excited she cannot even believe what is going on. She says to her husband, "I'm ready to go, let's go to the cashier."
The husband stops and says, "No, honey I don't feel like buying all this stuff now." The wife's face goes blank. "Honey - I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while."
The look on her face is indescribable and she is about to explode as her husband says, "You must be in tune with my financial needs as a Man."

A bored guy sat in the bar and looking to strike up a conversation.
He turns to bartender and says, "Hey, about those Democrats in the Congress . .."
"STOP pal - I don't allow talk about politics in my bar!" interrupted the bartender.
A few more...

Young Boudreaux applied for an engineering job way, way up north in Shreveport. A local man applied for the same job and both applicants, having the same qualifications, were asked to take a test by the department manager.Upon completion of the test, both men missed only one more...

Knock Knock
Who's there?
Wilma!
Wilma who?
Wilma lunch be ready soon?

What goes "snap, crackle and pop"? A firefly with a short circuit!

2
0

911

Sharifah is explaining to Pei Lee the bad day she'd had at work. Sharifah's boss had suffered a heart attack and died. Pei Lee said, "How horrible! What did you do?" Sharifah shook her head. "There was nothing I could do! He kept yelling at me to call 911, but he more...

Be first to comment!
remember me
follow replies
Funny Joke? 4 vote(s). 75% are positive. 0 comment(s).