"Differences Between High School and College" joke
1. In high school, you do homework. In college, you study.
2. No food is allowed in the hall in high school.
In college, food must be provided at an event before students will come.
3. In high school, you wear your backpack on one shoulder; in college, on both.
4. In college, the professors can tell you the answer without looking at
the teacher's guide.
5. In college, there are no tardy slips.
6. In high school, you have to live with your parents. In college, you
get to live with your friends.
7. In college, you don't have to wait in a certain lunch line to be cool.
8. Only nerds e-mailed in high school. (Cool kids hadn't heard of it.)
9. In high school, you're told what classes to take. In college, you get to
choose; that is, as long as the classes don't conflict and you have the
prerequisites and the classes aren't closed and you've paid your tuition.
10. In high school, if you screw up you can usually sweet-talk your way
out of it. In college, you're lucky to ever talk with the professor.
11. In high school, fire drills are planned by the administration; in
college, by the drunk frat boys on their way home when the bars close.
12. In college, any test consists of a larger percentage of your grade
than your high school final exams ever did.
13. In high school, when the teacher said, "Good morning," you mumbled back.
In college, when the professor says, "Good morning," you write it down.
14. In high school, freshman guys hit on senior girls. In college,
senior guys hit on freshman girls.
15. In college, weekends start on Thursday.
16. In college, it's much more difficult to figure out the course schedule of
the man/woman you have a crush on, in order to figure out where he/she
will be walking around campus and at what time to find them there.
17. Once you've obtained the information described in #16, it's much more time
-consuming to run between classes to that place where you know he/she will
be in order to "just happen to bump into him/her."
18. In college, there's no one to tell you not to eat pizza three meals a day.
19. In college, your dad doesn't pay for dates.
20. In high school, it never took 3 or 4 weeks to get money from Mom and Dad.
21. College guys are cuter than high school boys.
22. College women are legal.
23. In college, when you miss a class (or two or three), you don't need
a note from your parents saying you were skip....uh, sick that day.
24. In high school, you can't go out to lunch because it's not allowed.
In college, you can't go out to lunch because you can't afford it.
25. In college, you can blow off studying by writing lists like this.
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