"Did you hear about the guy who got his vasectomy done at Sears?" joke

I farted in an elevator yesterday... it was wrong on so many levels.

Confucius Says: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

If sex is a pain in the ass, then you're doing it wrong...

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with "Guess" on it...
so I said "Implants?"

Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.