"Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same?" joke
Could Godzilla, the King of Monsters and Elvis, The King, be one and the same?
Nickname:
Godzilla: King of Monsters
Elvis: King of Rock
Year Career Started:
Godzilla: 1954
Elvis: 1954
Species:
Godzilla: Giant lizard
Elvis: Giant lounge lizard
Social Order:
Godzilla: Hangs with freaks
Elvis: Had (has?) Michael Jackson for son-in-law
Famous bug battles:
Godzilla: Fought giant caterpillar Mothra
Elvis: Outlasted the Beatles
Vocal quirks:
Godzilla: Terrible dubbing of his movies
Elvis: Never could lip-synch
Eating habits:
Godzilla: Would eat anything
Elvis: Would eat anything fried
Attire:
Godzilla: Played by fat man in rubber suit
Elvis: Was fat man in polyester suit
Alien encounters:
Godzilla: Traveled past Jupiter for Godzilla vs. Monster Zero
Elvis: Was believed to be aboard alien spacecraft on Independence Day
Crusades:
Godzilla: Fought pollution in Godzilla vs. Smog Monster
Elvis: Absorbed all forms of pollution into his own body
Farewell:
Godzilla: Has eaten the building
Elvis: Has eaten everything in the building
Two newfies walked into a pet store. The first says "I want four budgies." Salesman-certainly sir, would you like two male and two female or all male or all female? Newfie-I don't care. I just want 4 budgies! Salesman-certainly sir, what color would you like? We have more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's there?
Banana.
Banana who?
Knock Knock.
Who's more...
Q: why did the Maori cross the road on a motorbike?
A: to get to the other side.
Q: why did the pakeha cross the road?
A: to get his motorbike back!
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...